The Annoying Sibling Syndrome

 

"Mock,...Yea-ah,...Ing,...Yea-ah,...BIIIIRD!!!...Yea-ah,...YEA,...Yea-ah..."

- Lloyed and Harry, Dumb and Dumber

   The day previous to this post, The Wife looked back and saw our 5YO son reenacting the above scene sitting next to our 2YO daughter. She told him to knock it off, and in a frustrated voice muttered, "Geez,....Lloyd." I busted up laughing since I also noticed our poor wee girl had the same look on her face as the guy in the middle. 

   In a long line of annoying siblings, our boy can be the leader of the pack. While he is sweet, loving, tender, caring, and a snuggle-bug,....is also a button pusher and bluff caller. Once he's in the car, there's an invisible timer to see how fast he can get me to blow up like the guy from Dumb and Dumber. It can be mind-numbingly irritating, but then, wasn't I a young boy once?

   This is the key point. Our pediatrician once said that our boy is "very bright, and with that, he needs engagement or he will get bored." So the challenge is to be "creative in a really interesting way..." (Dr. Oatman, Gross Pointe Blank). Sure, we can plan outings, excursions, invasions, etc., but what does one do in the car? I'm not a fan of putting a movie on EVERY time we enter the vehicle. That can spiral out of control. The flip side of that is Lloyd singing Mockingbird in my daughters face.

   So the challenge continues. Any thoughts are welcome. Suggestions will be considered. Patience will continue to be tested. In the meantime, here's the most annoying sound in the world.

J.

Siblings - Bridging The Age Gap

"I hope that people will realize that the struggle to
make a life better with a sibling is worth it." - Marie Brenner

   I was second oldest in a family of four boys. We were "The Swann Boys". Not that we were sliding across the hood the family wheels like the Duke boys, but we were fairly tight. It was only later in life that my oldest brother stated that he "couldn't stand me in high school." It was a shock, because I never felt it. Blood is thicker than water, and we brothers were thick as thieves. Thus it is with our older two. They can be at each other's throats one minute, then defending each other the next. I have a good feeling that I'll get a call one day that my son was caught beating the snot out of some kid that was giving my oldest 'Lil Miss a hard time.

   Bridging the age gap with siblings isn't going to happen without a little effort by all parties. I certainly don't believe it's going to happen on it's own, so it's just one more thing that becomes our responsibility as parents to teach and encourage our little ones. I never want to fulfill the saying "do as I say and not as I do", so I try to practice what I preach. I have a scattered relationship with each of my four brothers. We're from the same household, but have very different personalities. It takes effort to reach out and make calls, emails, and such. I make an effort because that's who I want to be. My father and his 4 siblings don't all talk that much. My father-in-law has little contact with his siblings. Much of that is not for a lack of trying, and the effort is another post all unto itself. I wanted to make sure that I pointed out that we can ensure a solid attempt at bridging the age gap  between our children by trying. Find similar interests and teach the concept of a strong family.

   As we added another wee one to our ranks, the age gap is greater. We can still find common ground amidst the rivalry and warfare of the young if we really try. My mother recently pointed out that even though we try to find common ground for our children, we also need to recognize that they ARE different ages and to address that as well. So it becomes a balancing act. I know there will be different stages for each, but I want my little ones to be given every opportunity to build a strong foundation within our family. I am my own evidence that try as you may, siblings do drift apart despite great effort to keep them together. I still believe that if we work hard enough at the foundation, there's a better shot at a brighter future for sibling relationships. Teach them to support each other, applaud successes, console in failure. It's a part of the long road we walk as parents that seems to be over all too soon. Do what we can now, and reap the rewards later.

J. 

Sisters - Creating The Bond

"Sister to sister we will always be, A couple of nuts off the family tree." - Author Unknown

   I had three brothers, so the idea of bonding usually entailed some sort of beat down, criminal activity, or other hazing event. I mean, when my youngest brother was born, we were all excited to see how durable he was. By the time my father remarried and had a little girl, the four boys were all married with little ones of our own. We've always been more like uncles that visit once in a while. So having a sister is about as foreign to me as changing a diaper (JUST kidding people,...I've done plenty!). 

   So it's been fun to watch the beginnings of our little gals, yes sisters, creating the bond. Our Wee Lass is quite pleasant most of the time for an infant. Combine that with our 'Lil Miss who loves to be in control, and you get the perfect scenario. They entertain each other throughout the day, or at least once 'Lil Miss is home from school and weekends. The older loves to hold the baby, though she's still a little wobbly doing it. The youngest loves to grab a fistful of big "sissy's" hair and try to ring the bells of Notre Dame. It's a symbiotic relationship. 

   I watch The Wife and her sisters when they get together. I was warned about the way they go a little mental after midnight, and I've certainly been witness to THAT! I sit by and watch the insanity unfold. Aside from the Gremlin effect, it's fun to watch something I never witnesses growing up. The bond that they share has been strengthened over a lifetime, through hardships and successes. I've seen and heard the way their parents nurtured that and hope I can reproduce it in some way. They love to see each other, long for the next trip, share stories, tips on parenting, and a pile more. I see the beginnings of it in my own, and am excited for the fun to come. I just need to remember not to feed them after midnight!

J. 

A Loving Big Sister

"Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister." - Alice Walker

   I glanced over the other evening to see 'Lil Miss  with her arm around her little brother. Pride and love welled up inside for the love that she shows him. I think of the rivalry that existed between me and my three brothers (yup,...there were four boys), and the lack of lessons learned without a sister in the family. Our 'Lil Miss has already shown us she has the right stuff to be a great big sister.
   I can't tell if our little chats about sharing, loving, protecting and so forth are sinking in. They may have a small part, but I really feel that it's in her true nature to be that way. Hearing her kindergarten teacher say that she's been looking out for the boy who lovingly torments her daily confirmed it. She looks out for the underdog, thinks a lot of others (as well as herself, let's be real!), and so forth.
   It was just a treat to see. Let's hope it lasts.

J.

Sibling Rivalry

     This weekend, my wife and I headed out for a long awaited "date night". My son knew something was up immediately, and began to show his displeasure minutes after the baby sitter showed up. He was fine just after we left (yes, we text back and forth with the sitter), but just before departure, I paid attention to my daughter. While the boy was crying, she disappeared into his room, and came out with a favorite stuffed animal. She began coaxing him with a soft and upbeat voice, trying to hand him his stuffed buddy. We mentioned to her the need to help, but I left knowing that she does those things by instinct theses days.
     Sure, there are plenty of "mine", "don't touch", and "daaaaaddddyyyy" moments to fill a toy box. However, she wants to push him in his stroller, feed him treats, quiet his crying and so forth. I fully believe that as she welcomed a little brother, WE tried to make the transition easier. We have special times with her alone, I still read books to her before bed, and other things that make her feel special and loved on an individual basis, as well as a sibling. I know that's helped, and will continue to do so.
     I've found some additional articles on Kids Health, Family Circle, and Parenting. The address sibling rivalry/harmony and overall getting along. I hope we can keep on this path. It'll be a fun ride.

J.