7 Items You Must Have In Your Baby Bag

        (photo via walmart.com)

"Be Prepared" - Boy Scout Motto

   I was a Boy Scout. Achieved the rank of Eagle Scout, thank you very much. Having boasted about my ascension to the lofty rank of one who should be the model of "be prepared", I've had my fair share of moments when The Wife and I are one diaper short on a long day trip somewhere. In a recent thread in a daddy blogger group I'm proud to call my digi-home away from home, one of my eBrothers posed the question "Where was the weirdest place you've ever changed a diaper?" Immediately I thought of our flight to Maui, early summer of 2011. 

   We left on a Saturday, but had found out our 8MO had a double ear infection and was on an antibiotic. His diarrhea kicked in just as we took off. I mean RIGHT as we took off. He was in my arms, my hand cradling his bum, and he fired one out the side onto my arm and into my hands as the airplane's wheel lifted off the tarmac. I was shocked into silence. The Wife held him while I cleaned off (ahhh-maaaaan! it's all up inside the buckle of my seat belt!!!!), and once we were at cruising altitude, I cruised back to the lavatory with my little buddy's mess. I don't recall being responsible for my firstborn's diapers on the plane, but for whatever reason, those memories don't haunt me like the 5 trips I made to the "standing room only poop party at 30,000 feet". That was some kind of cramped space, but we got by and it left us with some additional experience around what to have in your baby bag, no excuses allowed. 

   I found what appeared to be a list that I agreed with in full over at BabyCenter.com. That's like the camping list for anyone getting ready to go to scout camp for the first time. Put it ALL in there, and then take things out as you don't use them,.....ever. That's the tough one though. 'Cuz you just....never....know. There are 7 items you must have in your baby bag. The ones you will flog yourself for NOT having in there are: 

Diapers - Whoa, man. Don't be caught without them diapers. The formula appears to be one per hour you'll be out, then a few extras in case of,...you know, life? 

Wipes - These bad boys are multi-use and a lifesaver for more than just the dirty jobs.
Hand Sanitizer - Once you've been in "surgery", you're gonna want to clean up a bit.
Changing Pad - With some of the places my eBrothers have changed their 'wee ones, you'd BETTER have one of these in the bag, or you should be ashamed of yourself.
Extra Clothes  - Too many times to count have we showed up to an event with children in clothes they did NOT leave the house in.
Snacks -  The unholy shrieks of your children might, just might be related to them being hungry. Snacks will exorcise the demons until you get a proper meal lines up for them.
Diaper Rash Cream - Salve that soothes the trouble soul. In other words, rashes can get out of hand in mere minutes on occasion, and this stuff takes up little room to NOT put it in there. Nothing says "I love you" like a nice shellac layer of cream on your kid's junk.

   These are the 7 items that our little family of three little ones has learned are indispensable. I advise to hit that list at BabyCenter.com to assess where you're at in terms of preparedness. We can't all be Boy Scouts, but as parents we can plan ahead and not be taken off guard.
   With a lengthy sign that indicates that I've been there,..............I wish you good luck.

J.

My Child Just Used The Word Popular

"Avoid popularity if you would have peace." - Abraham Lincoln

   In the last 24 hours, both The Wife and I have heard our 'Lil Miss use the word "popular" for the first time. We know that she's 7, and innocence cannot last forever, but this felt like the first step in that direction. I'm aware that this is the tip of the giant iceberg of lost innocence. I thought it relevant to discuss this one specifically. 

   Until now, my 'Lil Miss has been quite happy with playing with whomever was interested in joining her. In the neighborhood and the park, it never mattered if you were a boy or girl, black or white, tall or short, or so on. Play was play, for playing sake. I only really saw a problem after her play friends had to leave or go back inside for dinner. It's an innocence to the parts of society that The Wife and I hoped would last forever, but could never do so. We all face the social aspect of our society, and we all grow up through those experiences. Is it bad that I have anxiety about my children facing it?
   My 'Lil Miss, who's only worry has been "Will there be someone to play with?", is now worrying if she's popular enough to be played with. The Wife took her to school a few days back and said go play with so-n-so on the playground. 'Lil Miss replied with a slightly sad voice, "She usually already has someone to play with because she's so popular." This is NOT a phrase I wanted to hear this early. It feels like we've come so far with how we treat each other as people, yet have so far to go. There's so much that is out of our control as parents. I can teach my child to include others, share, be nice, and so on. Yet I send her to school and she comes home with new phrases, tattling, back talk, and so forth. It's enough to want to home school.
   Yet, it's a rite of passage. The only way to build callouses is to go through the initial hard work discomfort and pain. It's just that sometimes I'm not a fan of the result of this process. I've known a few individuals that are not as pleasant to be around as adults compared to how they were as youth. The world is a difficult place to live. I don't want to overprotect, as that would not prepare my children for life. I also don't want them to be overexposed, as that can harden a person to the point of cynicism and such. We as parents in our home try to keep communication lines open, and stay involved with the lives of our little ones. It's all I can do for now.
   What are your thoughts about the bridges our children cross? How do you deal with it?

J. 

Finding The Energy For Parents

"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!" - Steven Wright

   I had a conversation with a fellow dad, and the topic of our energy levels as parents came up. While it was said the you gain so much as a mother or father, energy is NOT one of them. Heck, I'm crafting this thoughtful post on less than 5 hours of sleep from last night's CryFest 2013. TWO of my three kids up into the wee hours my good people! I was trying not to nod off on the long drive home from work. I feel like a Nintendo character, who's energy level is flashing in the red. I know we've ALL felt like this. Even my sister-in-law, who I thought was just one big ball of energy, has said it ain't so. It appears that finding the energy for parents is as mythical as the elusive unicorn or snipe. So in the great hunt for the fountain of youth, or in this case, energy that pales in comparison to the youth of America, what might we do to fix that and put more zip on our step?

Here are 5 suggestions: 

1. Sleep. Try to fit it in where you can, when you can. I'm now finding myself taking cat naps (I've always hated the term "power nap", as I do not wake up feeling like Captain America). I've even taken part of my lunch break at work to get refreshed. You may have to get creative and try something new, but it can be done. 

2. Eat better. The type of food you eat matters. The old "you are what you eat" rings true when I've had too much processed or fast food. We've been cooking at home a lot more for the past while, and we notice a difference in the way we feel. We DO need a break from that, as requested by the cook (a.k.a. The Wife) and we'll do something fast and cheap once or twice a week. 

3. Don't be the white rabbit. Managing time and effort on projects, errands, and other tasks will help. If you're all over the place without a plan, you'll burn through your daily energy allowance to quickly.

4. Do stuff for YOU. Our first several years as parents were an all inclusive focus on the kid. After our 'Lil Man came along, we realized we had nothing we were doing for ourselves. Now that Wee Lass is here, we make time for ourselves each day. Whether it be 10-15 minutes or more, we've both found that if we give ourselves time for a hobby or passion, we're more energized to do the ma & pa thing. 

5. Learn to let go. I've been called "high strung" for sometime now. Every battle was a war that had to be won. The Wife has mastered letting go recently and I'm working on it. If you realize you have young children, you might not worry so much about your house looking like a museum. Or you may not worry about EVERY scrap of food being cleared from the little one's plates. I once heard a saying that I use in jest. "Close enough for government work." 

   I've read a couple of lists that mimic what I think are the important ones. One just needs to take a look at their situation and make some minor changes to start. If they work, keep going. If not, go slower. We've been making some progress at The Cheeky House, so I'm living proof some of this stuff can work. Now if I can just feel like Captain America after my next nap!

J. 

Parenting Never Ends

(sometime after school today...)
Me - "Why are your new boots so scratched up and worn?"
'Lil Miss - (blank stare)  

   It seems like only yesterday I had the same answer for the simplest of questions. After being asked why I hit my brother, or wedged a large metal screw under my father's tire, etc., the answer was the same. "Deer in headlights!", my older brother always says.  

   I'll pass right by the "Why" question, as it insults any parent to look for a good reason behind what any child does. It's more about shortening the time it takes to get past the, "Wha, wha, whe, WHY!?!?" Somehow through the frustration, we as parents need to simplify the message and get it through to the blank stare that is typically NOT looking you in the eye.

   That's the question isn't it. How do you handle all that? Since parenting never ends, nor does this molding and shaping. Teaching why we take care of things, and how we can get used items if the child would prefer to not have to take care of the new. It is also worth noting that I've seen grown-ups act this way toward things they should be taking care of, so it really, TRULY, never ends.

J.

Teaching Your Children To Be Brave

"Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone 

who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true." 

 - Charles Dickens

   Recently, our little family was at a local store, who was sampling the latest in prepared food delicacies. My offspring are an example of Pavlov's bell in action. They bug their old man for a taste of the local treats, whether they be an oatmeal they don't like or the latest, non-alcoholic wine (oh, boy). The common thread is that their courage has always come from their parents. Until this moment. 

   I lost sight of the 'Lil Man for a moment and by the time I looked over the above scene was taking place. With bravery mustered, my little guy approached the station with hands in pockets. "Can I have some more pwease?", he eeked out. With patience he waited, and was rewarded, with a glorious toothpick of warm honey baked ham. Victory was never so sweet. 

   Now let it be known, that The CheekyDaddy was a bit of a wall flower growing up. I didn't realize until later in life that caring about what others thought was a waste of time. Now that I am comfortable in my own skin, I try to show my children that hey can be brave in life. My 'Lil Miss is still working on it, but my boywill try anything.

TIP: Do one brave thing a day. When in the presence of you children, they'll see it's no big deal.

   So keep in mind that your children follow your lead. My father was a bit of an introvert. I plan to break the cycle and show bravery every day in life. I challenge you to remember...

Be brave,

J. 

Homework With Your Children

"I don't love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful." - Natalie Portman

   So the end of the week finds The Wife and I trying to hide our enthusiasm to dig through our eldest's backpack in search of her test scores. Specifically, the two that are regular are a spelling test and a timed reading score. I can only compare it to a scratch off lottery ticket, with the excitement building. However, this is where we win every time. Our 'Lil Miss is very competitive, but also LOVES her play time. We've had to try difference things to keep her interested in homework and study time.

   We crashed and burned when we let her come home and play first. Disaster! We'd always run out of time and she never wanted to stop playing to do it. I felt like I was taking my first dog to the veterinarian.

TIP: We tried a old tried and true method of getting some homework done right after school.

   It works great. With the knowledge that she can play after and not have to stop again to work on her words or reading, she powers through. At one point last week, she actually asked if she could finish the remainder of her homework so that she could go straight to playtime after school. The Wife and I were beside ourselves.

   Some additional resources:
 - The U.S. Department of Education - General Homework Tips for Parents
 - Circle of Moms - our friends over at the circle have and article, "7 Fixes for the Homework Battle"
 - Scholastic - The article is "Homework for Kids", and point #2 is our play. Oh, and look! There's a dad helping with homework in the photo. Go dad!

   The the quote at the top sums up my own personal experience. I really hated studying, but LOVED learning. Try to figure out how that works for you children with their homework. Instead of repetitious math problems on paper, I poured out the change jar and we worked on our 1s and 10s with pennies and dimes.
   You can do it.

J. 

Bye-Bye Binky - Pacifier Exorcism

 

"Do thou snatch treasures from my lips, and I'll take kingdoms back from thine."

- Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Photo courtesy of America Bronzing Co.

   Binky, bubba, pacifier, pacies, dummy, soothies, etc. It's gone by many names, but meant one thing for our little ones. Comfort. You ever give your little one their binky and their eyes glazed over in comforting goodness? Those of you who know the international trading laws that go with trying to kick the binky habit can give me an AMEN. Those of you who don't,......prepare yourself. Or don't. We just said goodbye last night to our 'Lil Man's, and here's the score for our three kiddies:

'Lil Miss: Hit her mouth on a window ledge back in the day, and didn't want it thereafter. SCORE!
'Lil Man: Chewed it beyone recognition and said goodbye to his last one, last night. Verdict is not in yet, but he did pretty good all night without it.
Wee Lass: Hates 'em with the white hot intesity of a thousand suns. I think she'd prefer a mouth full of bees before she'd take a binky!

Tips: We used bribery, trade, and finally used the old art of distraction. I reminded my 'Lil Man that he knew the consequences of chewing on his friend. Then I used verbal smoke and mirrors to keep his mind off it. I told him an extensive bedtime story, which turned out to be very entertainng (look for my first children's book hit entitled "The Dragon Who Liked Chocolate", summer of 2014). We actually ended up hitting 4 of the 6 tips offered over at Circle of Moms.

Let me know if you have any other experiences, tips, rants, etc.

J.

When Baby Won't Sleep

"I see you're trying to get some sleep. Allow me to sing you the song of my people." - Wee Lass

   Captain's Log. Stardate 12/12/12. Day 134, and we're still at war. Baby sleep is an elusive beast, like unto the unicorn or snipe. Morale is low and spirits are sinking. Mom and dad are near tears and have a zombie-like demeanor. 

Haven't all parents gone through something like that? The Wife and I are there. I thought in the spirit of sharing, I'd also pass on what we've used to help with the Wee Lass. It was determined that she's experiencing a bit of acid reflux. As any of you know who have experience this with an infant,.....good times. ALL that adorable screaming,....and at such fun times of the night!

   Some of the natural remedies have been to keep her upright for at least 30 minutes after feedings, or what we were told in our case, "as much as possible throughout the day". Goodbye shoulder muscles. Aside from allergies, there is good reason for a nursing mother to stay away from things like caffeine and dairy. Follow the pediatricians advice on those, and typically the mother is more on top of that than us dads (crap!). When those aren't the problem and you baby is still experiencing colic, gas, stomach pain, irritability, homicidal tendencies, and the like,...here's what we've tried:

 Little Tummys Gripe Water: We tried it and Wee Lass griped anyway, so it wasn't for us.

 Little Tummies Gas Relief: this worked about half of the time to calm her little tummy.

 The generic Up & Up from Target was a cheaper alternative and seemed to work about the same for our family.

   If you suspect acid reflux in your baby (ours is currently 3 months old as of this post), the options are limited. We found out that the long and hard way on the phone between doctors office, insurance company, and the pharmacy. The two medications we've experienced:
 

Ranitidine (generic Zantac): It seemed to help some with the symptoms, but not enough to prevent the 3 hour bedtime routine, more than normal spit-ups, etc. Our health plan pharmacist said that ranitidine has a different mechanism of action than Prevacid, so some don't do well on the former. Some babies don't do well on it at all. Besides, our Wee Lass hated taking it and more was spit out than taken. We were moved onto...
Prevacid: (lansoprazole): Our little one enjoyed the mild strawberry flavor, and the solutab went down with no argument. The bedtime routine was not as intense and she slept for longer than she had for some weeks.

   I'm by no means a doctor, so do what's best for your child, consult your pediatrician and pharmacist, and be patient. I welcome any other ideas that may help. Good luck,

J.

When The Training Wheels Come Off

"I am still learning." - Michelangelo

   I knew this day was coming, and I learned more than one lesson in the process. My 'Lil Miss took some time learning how to pedal a bike. About few months ago, a few more girls her age moved into the neighborhood and we were outside more than ever. The bike was in full use and I started to notice about a month ago that my 'Lil Miss was coasting down the sidewalk and I couldn't hear the sound of the training wheels touching the ground (it was like the scream of a banshee!). She made a game of trying to not let those training wheels touch the ground. A little over a week ago, she traded bikes with one of her friends, who then promptly tried to attack a large electrical box in our front yard with it.
   I was trying to fix the bent training wheels, when my girl asked if she could leave them off. Trying to suppress the cynicism in my voice, I told her she'd most likely fall, and I didn't have the energy to run along side her holding her seat. MUCH protesting later, I threw my hands up and said okay. She got on and we started down the sidewalk. Within about 20 feet, I took my hands off to show her she was doing it all by herself, ready to be there for her. It's been almost two weeks and I haven't touched the bike seat since.
   I swiftly ate my own hat and stood in amazement at how fast my baby is growing. Seeing her breeze past me over the next several days was crazy to see. Her first crash didn't happen until day 5. I told her we'd go in for Band-Aid treatment and through the tears and crying she says, "Okay, but I want to come back out after, okay?!?" Her love for bike riding is clear. I think the time we took to encourage, participate, etc. has all paid off.
   So spend the time, no matter what the activity. The payoff is huge.

J.

Changing A Lock - My Everest

"A man who is 'of sound mind' is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key." - Paul Valery

   That is unless you're 3 year old has locked the door, which turns you into the madman. WHAT THEN!!! A few days past, our 'Lil Man locked the downstairs bathroom door, which for SOME reason, was outfitted with an actual 5 pin lock handle by the previous tenants. 

   The problem: We were given no additional key to the bathroom, and the front door key didn't work.

   Solution #1: Watched YouTube video here on how to make a paperclip lock pick set, as I had none. Then spent nearly two hours over the next two days patiently trying to pick that darn lock. 

   Solution #2: Borrowed an industrial power drill and titanium bits from neighbor to drill out the locking mechanism. The titanium drill bit broke (fig. 1) as I pushed too hard when it got past the locking pins, but I pulled out the broken drill bit piece and used a long pair of needle nosed pliers to turn the locking inner hand turned lock rod to open the door. 

   Lesson Learned #1: Asses if you have locks in your house that do not have keys to them. Headaches WILL be averted. 

   Lesson Learned #2: Boys aged 3 years or under don't understand the concept of "don't lock the door", so please refer to Lesson Learned #1. 

   Lesson Learned #3: When drilling out the locking mechanism, you only need to go about 1-1.5" into the center. Past that is the Unobtainium turning rod, that will ruin your neighbors drill bit made of FREAKING TITANIUM!

   Lesson Learned #4: I think I should learn to pick locks BEFORE the crisis. 

   Lesson Learned #5: Keep your composure, as even at the end, mistakes can be made, as evidence by my installing the new handle backwards (fig. 2) preventing the door from closing. Grrrrrrr.....

(fig. 1)

(fig. 2)

   We discussed why we don't lock the doors inside with our 'Lil Man. The concept was learned fast when he was dancing to go #1, and the downstairs restroom was out of commission. Let's face it, there were a LOT of lesson learned on this one. Hope this helps someone.

J. 

Reclaimed Wood Projects

"One man's trash, is another man's treasure."

    Okay, so it you can substitute "woman" for "man", but the topic is the same. The Wife and I are all about the reclaimed wood craze. While it's not for everyone, we're hooked. Sure, we're buying and refinishing secondhand furniture. The finishes all seem to contain some form of distressing. The questions though, is why not start projects with ALREADY distressed wood. The Wife and I looked around a bit and my better half came across Vintage Timberworks in Temecula, CA. They have a ton of various types of timber available for projects, as well as some amazing completed commercial projects. 

   There are plenty of projects that are MUCH simpler for the beginner. I'm itching to find some time to replicate this project by a fellow woodsman. The graphic can be anything, but the concept is simple enough that one only needs some time and the guts to get started on the wood project. I've found that going into the first project or two knowing that mistakes will be made helps me from becoming frustrated. By project two or three, MANY lessons have been learned and I'm more confident. That brings me to my final tip. 

   I was getting a morning drink and stumbled across a guy with a trailer FULL of reclaimed wood (pictured above). I had heard of the concept and asked if that what he was doing. He said he was a fence builder, and what I saw was ALL GARBAGE!!! I nearly died, seeing all that aged wood going to the dump. FREE WOOD! It wasn't the time to take it all back home, so I got his card. He said he takes several sections at a time to a local furniture maker, who turns it into something valuable (like this from another website). Oh, one can dream. 

   So dream big, and make a little bit of time each day. I've found that helps me stay creative, while being a dad with three young tikes. If you have any ideas, send 'em my way!

J. 

A Visit To The Doctor

     A apple a day, keeps the doctor awa....OUCH! Time for shots I guess.

     We had a recent trip to the pediatrician that was pretty typical. We got in quick, but sat in the room until both kids we're pulling open all the cupboard and messing up all the "clean" paper on the exam bench. My boy was fine with all the exam stuff. In fact he was quite curious about what was going on. The three shots weren't welcome, but again, the crying was over in seconds (granted, he was up in the night, and limping the next day). It made me think of my three tips for a successful trip to the Doc.

     1. Make sure it's no big thing - I've noticed that if I'm not phased, the kids usually aren't phased. I've seen parents prep their kids for scary things, like Disneyland rides. "Okay, Jr.! Now it's going to get VEEEERY dark, and PREEEETY scary, and somethings going to jump out, and you're gonna want to scream your head off a little bit...." Don't do it. You're setting up the fear. If you must, be honest, brief, and show 'em it ain't no big deal.

     2. Diversion techniques - Mostly used for the nasty stuff, like shots, I have a variety of treats, electronic gizmos, and keywords that will divert my 1 AND 5 year olds' attention away from anything. Even if for a small moment, it's helped us get past shots, scary ear lighting equipment, etc. It works for us, so give 'er a try.

     3. Loose Clothing! - We learned this one early on. With all the poking around the doctor does, loose and comfy work better. ALSO,.... after those shots, you're child will thank you if you can slide on some loose and comfy sweats. It makes things that much easier and happier.

     I found some additional tips for making a trip successful for first time baby visits here, by Teresa Shaw. Also some good tips from a RN (student NP) here. Good luck!

J.