It Takes A Village To Raise A Child

   Sometimes as a working father, I miss some of the politics that occur within our neighborhood while I'm away. However, while we're out front in the evenings and weekends, I get to see all the goings on of our little piece of America. We have around ten children of varying ages in our court. There are five that are around the same age, and all of them are girls. The stereotype can sometimes be justified in that 4 of the 5 are very type A personalities. We've found equilibrium amongst each other as neighbors, and trust each other's judgement for the basics of keeping children out of danger, from coming to blows, setting each other's hair on fire, and the like.

   We've noticed that one young girls in particular, is kind of out on her own most of the time. Her mother is a student, works full-time, and doesn't seem to have much patience with having a child. The father is a stay-at-home-dad that does very little. The sweet young girl goes to school with messy hair, clothes worn day in a row, and so on. Both parents take immaculate care of themselves, but little is done for their daughter outside the basics. For whatever the reason, these are some of the things that we've seen as her neighborhood group.

   One of The Wife's new friends is a neighbor who lives next door to the girl in question. The two women have more or less taken on the role within the "it takes a village" saying. Both of our households have fed her when she's skipped meal. Both women have taken turns doing her hair during summer mornings and already this school year. They've encouraged good behavior, gave praise where it was deserved as well as needed, and so on. Both remember having heard stories of children growing up to be wonderful adults, only to have them look back and thank a family other than their own for showing them the right way. I see that in the way these ladies give unconditional love for one that is not their own. The patience and kindness are aimed solely at the child. In their eyes, the young girl doesn't deserve to be ignored the way she appears to be, and have done everything they can thus far to step in and offer help.

   Everyone has their own set of circumstances. We try to remain respectful while keeping an eye on everyone's safety. The experience has shown the true colors of some wonderful women and it teaches me daily to live a life of love and positivity.

Different Rules For Different People

 

"There will always be different rules for different people" - The Cheeky Grandpa

 

   One of my father's pet peeves were the four of us Cheeky boys handing out rules that were never lived by. My younger brother was the worst. He'd dictate hard and fast rules to our youngest brother, and promptly NOT live by them. Even my own father had the best advice in life that he preferred NOT to live by. The concept was that there will always be people that has certain rules they wanted everyone else to live by, that they themselves would never have to follow. Infuriating isn't it?

 

   Now that I'm a father, trying to teach the concept rules is tricky. What are the family rules verses the rules of society? What code of ethics and conduct do I teach my children to follow, and just what the heck am I teaching them about when EVERYONE else doesn't fall in line with that?

 

   We have a number of children in our neighborhood. A few of the parents could not care any less about what their kids do our in our 'hood. These neighbor children boss each other around, get into whatever they want, and eat whatever they want whenever they want. So when I have to tell our own children that we're not having whatever junk food is on the menu for the day, there's much complaining about what's "not fair" in their eyes. I have to explain that our family doesn't each a family size bag of Doritos right before dinner. I know, call me crazy, right?

 

   As I was writing this post, I struck up a conversation with my sister-in-law about the general idea around this topic of "how we do things as a family". Her bottom line was  that we might just get by if we all chill a bit. That includes me. She also reminded me how quickly we forget how we did things once upon a time. Parents of tweens forget what it was like to have newborn. Parents with young children don't yet know what it's like to party into the night with older ones when curfew doesn't apply.

 

   As was said before, there will always be different rules for different people. I suppose it's the duty of us all to respect each other's choice to rules and work together to co-exist in the best way possible. Thoughts?

 

J. 



Easter Party and Egg Decorating With Neighbors

"Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, 

and when I woke up the pillow was gone." - Tommy Cooper

   This past eve was too much fun. We headed over to the neighbors Easter party for a bite to eat, egg decorating, s'mores, and general hijinks. We had some pizza from a local place that's our "go to" for a great pie. That was mostly a formality in order to get to the good stuff. We got moving on the egg decorating and I drew the short straw to sit next to my 'Lil Man. He proceeded to drop the eggs into the color die from death defying heights like he was going for some kind of high score. The kids were all having a great time with it. Again though, just another step to the good stuff. 

   S'mores are a messy affair, but isn't that a small price to pay. There's an inherent peace to a fire pit. From our Wee Lass to the adults, the flames produce a calm that no medication can touch. If you'll see in the pic to the far right, it was a great evening between a father and a son. We roasted mallows together and found out a bit about our likes. I like to slow roast to a golden brown, while he likes to light that sucker on fire and yell, "Ziggybamwa!!!", before blowing out and feasting upon the sweetened charcoal. After they'd had their fill, the kiddies headed off to play games, chase each other around, and so forth. That left time for the segregation of the sexes. 

   The ladies were in the garage, talking about a number of different items. The guys stayed out by the fire and discussed politics over brandy and mustaches. Kidding, we laughed a lot. Stories of work, the kids, movies, etc. were all on the agenda. Did I mention we laughed a lot? My desire to repeat stems from a recent lack of guy time. The Wife and I love being together, working on our current wood pallet art projects. There's still the need to bond with members of your own gender clan also. I was happy The Wife was able to have some chat time, as she told me it was a great conversation and there were strides made to build friendships. Similarly, we guys need some time to give the Tim Allen "guy, power tools, drywall, ruff, ruff, ruff......." So it was time well spent. 

   Holiday aside, we discussed trying to start a once per week hang out to repeat the fun we had. We're game, and that's says something about getting out there, meeting new neighbors, and recapturing the community feel that I remember from when I was a kid. So as we head into spring, look for those opportunities to build relationships with friends, your children and their friends, and perfect the art of the s'more. By the way, the Jet Puffed Caramel/Vanilla marshmallows are super good. Try 'em out!

J.