9 Signs He'll Be A Good Dad

"I've done all kinds of cool things as an actor: I've jumped out of helicopters
and done some daring stunts and played baseball in a professional stadium,
but none of it means anything compared to being somebody's daddy,"
- Chris Pratt

   I kept a link to an article in Yahoo! Parenting title "9 Signs He'll Be A Good Dad". Like most these days, I was wary going into it, assuming I'd debunk most of the signs as "NOT ME". As I read, the traits were pretty spot on. We're all different, and that makes the world go 'round. That being said, I wanted to give a thought on each point that was listed, and how I personally ranked myself.


He’s in touch with his inner dork.
When I was young, I was shy in a group setting, convinced I wasn't funny or interesting. I was easily embarrassed and wouldn't do anything spontaneous. My father was similar, so I didn't know any better. Through life experience, I'm now the complete opposite. I'll drop down in the middle of a Target to do a backspin, or bust out some dance moves, just to show my kids I can be a dork, wherever and whenever.

He’s hard to gross out.
I'm about a 4 out of 10 on this one. I still get grossed out with diapers, but mostly I can't manage the baby/toddler getting super messy in their high chair. Covered in applesauce, yoghurt, and any other manner of food makes me cringe.

He’s comfortable saying “I love you,” “I’m sorry” and — when appropriate — nothing at all.
Done, done, and done. I try to buck the system on this one. My kids will know they're loved, they will know how to say sorry, and know the precious value of silence.

He doesn’t need to be the center of attention.
When was I ever?

He’s the future king of Candy Land.
This bullet point discussed playing games. It's always been about the wee ones having fun, so I try to keep it that way. That being said, I have a need to play by the rules even while I'm being Mr. Fun. Something to work on.

He’s rich in something other than money.
The line, "children need your presence, not your presents" made sense (not cents? Ha!). I know friends and family that make money more important than whom they are providing it for. It's hard when you task yourself with providing the financial side, when you also want to be good at the "being there" side.

He’s very good at something.
My kids know I have a great attention to detail around my creative work. Hopefully that is passed on, as I do see it in each child's need to finish a project. I'm also big on life hacks, so I'm trying to add to my list of things I can do.

He’s got close friends.
I have a few close friends that I go to for advice. A few times they've come to me, so I feel that there's a good support system in place for us to lean on each other,……and vent when necessary.

He genuinely wants to be a dad.
The Wife and I chose to spend a number of years just being married,….without kids. It bonded us and allowed for some childless fun. Then we were ready for the next phase, and I wanted children. Now I have moments where I twirl my hair in my fingers, rocking back and forth, muttering to myself. Seriously though, I loved hearing the title of "daddy" being called from across the room or yard. It's the adventure of a lifetime.


   So, read the brief article and let me know….how do you see YOURself? As long as were trying, I think we get points. There are so many great dads out there these days. Here's to all of you.

J.

Fathers - On The Shoulders Of Giants

(pic via reddit.com reddit.com)

"On my dad’s shoulders the world is so small, I am a giant 100 feet tall" - Les Julian

   The above pic cracked me up. Though I never fell asleep on my father's shoulders, I certainly spent my fair share of time up there. I even water skied on my old man's shoulders one year. There is an exhilaration felt at that height. You can see further, feel mightier, and save your legs on a long day at the theme park. 

   We as fathers have a lot to bear on our shoulders. We're charged with being the other half to an equation that will shape and mold our young ones. Puts the pressure on, doesn't it? Sometimes my shoulders ache from holding my wee ones while we're out. Yet, I find that even when I don't feel like I can last another minute, I carry on and never want to let go. I don't know any father that doesn't want to be a hero to their child, and I am no different. Sitting on our shoulders can give them pride and confidence that doesn't exist on the ground level. So even when I'm zapped from a long day, carrying the extra burden of my son or daughter is well worth the "weight". If we don't have time for that, what do we have time for? 

   My step-father is another great example of a guy who will give a free ride to whomever asks that is under the age of 5-6 years or so. He's always demonstrated that there will always be time for little ones. As he breezes through his 60's, he's still cutting it up with my children, which reminds me to make the time and set an example. The guys over at Fatherhood.org had a great piece you can read on Building A Better Dad - Should We Start Earlier? This starts on the metaphorical "shoulders of dad". Our wives and mothers bear so much of the weight, I know we can all participate to carry our own portion. Let us set the example and impart the knowledge we've gained from either our own excellent father figures, or the knowledge we've learned along the way. 

Here's to you dads. 

J. 

Don't miss some additional posts on this topic. Like: 

Fatherhood - Breaking The Cycle of Bad

When There's Big Shoes To Fill

A Father's Love

Being A Daddy - Things I'll Remember

“To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.” - Bill Wilson

 

   The above image is of my Wee Lass grabbing a handful of my beard. I'm sure it's one part tactile and one part vertical support, and I don't mind in the least. There are so many aspects of being a daddy that I love, but the little hands are one of my favorite.

 

   My 'Lil Man stills sits next to me on the couch and strokes the back of my neck with his hands, feeling the bristle of the shorter hair after a haircut. It must be soothing. My Wee Lass LOVES to feel and grab my beard. My 'Lil Miss loves to have the palm of her hand stroked by my fingers.

 

   The stroking of my hand with my father's finger is the limited amount of contact I had with him as a youngster. It seems so important, more so than we sometimes know. A buddy of mine once told me that his mother wasn't much of a hugger his whole life. He's admitted to feeling odd showing physical affection to his own children, and it bothers him. I think we can all do better.

 

   So hug, hold hands, run fingers through hair, wiggle toes, etc. with your kids. The contact is needed, trust me. Besides, it makes a bad day good, a good day better, and will pay off in the end.

 

J.

The Cheeky Daddy's A Daddy Again!

"Sleep is a mythical creature, like a unicorn or snipe." - The Cheeky Daddy

   So we're about 2 months into the new addition of our little family. #3 came along at the end of August and we've been awake ever since. All of the baby items came out of storage and got a good cleaning. All went to plan and our new little one joined us with little fanfare. The older two were anxious and curious. I sat in our room, waiting to be called into our third C-Section, wondering how this would change our lives. 

   And in 8 weeks, it's been a whirlwind. I'm not sure if this entry is real, or a dream. Sleep is on the ration list, though my sweet wife lets me get more than she does. As we look around, I know we all see people from various walks of life. Some are not interested in having a family. For those of us who are, this has been a wonderful addition to our family. Smiles started early, and the older two are sometimes bursting with love for their little sister. We all have trouble defending ourselves from the cute factor. 

   It's inspired another round of creativity, storytelling and the like. I'll be playing dolls, being the prince, and cuddling on the couch to girly cartoons for another while now. I wouldn't change a thing. 

J. 

Cool Dads, Cool Guys

Doesn't every guy deserve to be looked at like this?



...and not just by your dog, but your wife, kids, girlfriend, co-workers,....whomever.

J.