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"Let me tell you a secret, about a father's love..." - A Love Without End, George Strait
I've spent most of my life so far knowing that my father loves his children through action, not words. His dedication to exposing us to the best in sports, scouts, college, rent help, etc. have always shown that he cares. We've even heard second and third hand that his four boys are ALL he talks about, yet he's not much for touchy feely talk and expressing himself through words. I've spent the last decade or so ending each conversation with "Love 'ya pal." He knows I love him, and I know he loves me, even if it isn't said. That doesn't mean that I never want to hear it. My father-in-law attended his own father's funeral having never heard an expression of love in his life. I was concerned that may be the case for me. Until last week.
I called on a whim, and we chatted about a dresser refurbish project. He quickly needed to be on his way, so we said our good-byes. "Okay, chat with you soon, pops. Love 'ya pal."
"Love you too. Later.", was his reply.
I found myself staring at the floor, baffled. I glanced up and noticed that my hands in fists, raised above me head in triumph. Not knowing the last time I heard that out loud, I finished the day, and week, a very happy guy.
My brothers and I have certainly gone the opposite direction. Whether it's a conscious choice, or just how it is these days, we are very vocal with our affection. It certainly goes a long way, as I've found out. Children notice when it's not there. They'll see it in movies, at their friends house, or wherever. Think about it. Make the decision that you won't leave this life without your children knowing how you feel (and not through purchases, yeah?)
"Daddy's don't just love their children every now and then. It's a love without end, amen."
J.
Well said. Despite not being raised that way, I tell my kids everyday.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love looking at photos taken "back in the day."
This is an excellent post and an awesome reminder to tell your kids you love them. Showing them through your actions is crucial too, but really no substitute for saying it!
ReplyDeleteJustin- Writing Pad Dad
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It's been almost two years since this post and I'm still impressed how my brothers and I continue to break tradition and tell our children ALL the time that we love them. We all try to balance that with action as well, spending the time, etc. Good stuff.
DeleteJ.
Justin's tweet sent me here. Beautiful post. I think I've heard my dad say it twice maybe. I find the endings of phone calls rather awkward, because it's supposed to be there when you talk to parents, right? Thankfully, I hear it all the time from my mom.
ReplyDeleteSup, ironicmom. I spent so many years waiting for it to be said. I got lucky and my father-in-law recommended no waiting like he did. He never heard it. He told me to live life how I wanted to, so that I would have no regrets when my father passed. Now I say it at the end of each conversation, no matter what. It's weird, mmmmm......about 95% of the time, but I'm good. He knows. He knows that I know. I know that he knows that I know. You get the idea. Try it. It may be weird, but you might be glad you did. Or you might curse The Cheeky Daddy for lame advice.
DeleteJ.