Treats and Desserts - Draw The Line

"And almost everything you'll see is eatable, edible.
I mean, you can eat almost everything." - Willie Wonka

   Anyone else have a treat monster living with them? They look like everyday children, but go nuts at the sound of the ice cream truck, or certain keywords like "dessert" or "treat". It's the sound of my youth and has been adopted by my own wee ones. Summer is highlighted by many things. The smell of a barbecue, kids running through sprinklers, and so on. Never to be left out is the ice cream truck. When you hear the faint sound of the simple lullaby, your heart pace quickens and you start to pat your pockets to see how much money you have. It all goes south when you decide that you're now a grownup who has your OWN money, and can spring for an Astro-pop anytime you want.

Watch out parents, for your children pick up on that VERY quickly.

   I met a family back in '94 while I spent a few years in southwest England. They had a few children, but none matched the evil in their youngest. He was around 3 years old, and a royal terror. He was a biter, kicker, nut puncher, etc. I began to fear any upcoming visit to his house. One day we were all hanging out, and I heart the faint sound of the ice cream truck approaching. As the mini-demon was winding to hit someone else with a stick, I saw his face go from anger to a blank stare. Then it turned from blank stare, to sheer terror. He screamed and ran to the back of the house, where it hid as far from sight as possible. I looked a the boy's father and asked what that was all about. He chuckled quietly and said, "I told him that it's the boogie man, and he drives around looking for kids to steal." He gave another quiet laugh, and that was that.

   We don't have to be THAT dedicated to the cause of squashing the treat monster. When it comes to treats and desserts, moderation in all things is a good motto. Know where to draw the line for your family. I've had to explain to my own little ones that dessert is not presented after EVERY meal (yes, they ask after breakfast, lunch, AND dinner). Through teaching and consistency we're getting there. You can too. Just don't use the boogie man. Please? That was quite the sight.

J.

The Ultimate Dessert - An American Experience Abroad

(photo courtesy of www.smartertravel.com)

Server to my friend: "Sir, the Ultimate Dessert is intended for 2-3 people" 

Me: "Dude, he IS 2-3 people"

TGI Friday's, Southwest England, 1994

   I was at my local Cold Stone Creamery last night and asked them if their forearms hurt after a long day, hand scooping all those orders. The one kid came back with, "Only when they order one of those." He motioned to a half gallon tub, that was clearly meant for a hand-packed dessert that included any number of toppings,...hand-mixed in. At first I thought about their poor arms, and then I thought "Murica!" That's right, the fun new of letting people know "that's how we do it,...in 'MURICA!" It reminded me of a classic American experience when I was in England around February of 1994. STORY TIME!

   It was me and three buddies, two were pretty much cowboys from Utah, and the third a smaller fella. The bigger of the cowboys took us all out for dinner at a local TGI Friday's dinner for passing his driving test for an American experience abroad. The meal was average, but the dessert menu caught our eye. Our server came over. He was a tall, slender, young guy, who was happy we were there in a mostly empty restaurant. He asked what we'd like for dessert and the conversation went something like this: 

Cowboy 1: "Tell me about this Ultimate dessert" 

Server: "Oh, that's a popular one. It's three large scoops of ice cream. Vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. We then load it with chocolate, caramel, and raspberry sauce. Then we stick a banana at each end, top that with whipped cream, nuts, a large brownie, and a full sized chocolate bar." 

Cowboy 1: "That's sound GOOD! I'll have one." 

Server: (incredulously) "Sir, the Ultimate Dessert is intended for 2-3 people." 

Me: "Dude, he IS 2-3 people!"

Server: "Okay then. Sir what about you?"

Cowboy 2: "Yeah, that does sound good. One Ultimate dessert for me too." 

Server: (blank stare, eyes widen, writes down order, looks to our smaller friend) "And you sir?"

Smaller Friend: "Vanilla milkshake." 

Server: (to me) "And for you?"

Me: "That cheesecake looks good. I'll have that."

Cowboy 1 & 2: "Wimp! Loser! Chicken! You're not an American" (etc., etc.)

Me: (slam my fist on the table) "FINE! THREE ULTIMATES!" 

Server: (nearly passes out, eyes the size of dinner plates, quietly utters...) "I'll go see if we have enough to make all those."

   We destroyed those desserts, and proved why the world thinks we're gluttonous pigs. We were all around 19-20 years old and still able to eat whatever we wanted. Thems were the days, yeah? So in honor of all that have served on this coming Memorial Day weekend,...'MURICA! Bring me three Ultimate desserts!!!

J.