Sleep Overs

"Little girls are cute and small only to adults.
To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized." - Margaret Atwood

   Tonight marks our second attempt at a sleepover. The first one went smooth and this one so far is going well. They played into the evening, had a good dinner, and then we all went crazy on building our frozen yogurts. A little television and then jammy time before we sent them off to the big bed on the floor. As pictured above, they needed some story time. When our 'Lil Miss's friend went to the restroom, The Wife crawled over to lay next to our sweet girl. Our sweet girl got all embarrassed and shyly pushed The Wife away exclaiming in a quiet voice, "Mommy, go! She coming back!" 

   You spend so much time being there for them when they need you, it comes as a bit of a shock when they're embarrassed by you. It was all in sweet fun, so there was no real harm done. More of a cute observation to see her trying to be so independent. She's 7YO, so if this is the tip of the iceberg,....then "ICEBURGGGGGG AHEEEAAAADDD!!!" No, really. Next is what, dropping her off at the corner for her to walk the rest of the way to school? I realize that the time is here to give my firstborn a little more independence. I don't want her clinging to us or anything (well,....uhhh, do I have to make that statement now?). So we judiciously choose which scenarios to incorporate a bit more freedom. She's not running errands to the store across the major intersection yet, but we've seen opportunity to try in different circumstances. 

   That's it then. What my mother went through when I finally was out of her hands. College, abroad, and such. She spent all those years guarding, protecting, teaching, and then trying to let go. I asked her recently when it ended for her. Her response could have been predicted by a stranger. "It still hasn't", was her reply. 

   And so it begins...

J. 

Loosing Your First Tooth

(Photo courtesy of The Wife at The Cheeky Cafe)

"Dear tooth fairy. May I have 3 magic necklaces, and something for my brother." 'Lil Miss

   Our 'Lil Miss didn't get her teeth until her 13-14th month. We were told the old wives tale stated that she'd have strong teeth if they came in late. I was half expecting them to come in platinum. When they finally did, we wondered how long it would take for the to fall out. Her friends were all looking like Canadian hockey goalies late last year. Our 'Lil Miss was beside herself, feeling left out. We kept waiting, until the bottom two started to move. HALLELUJAH!!! The anticipation grew, the discomfort crept in, and last night, as she brushed, it came loose,.....and went straight down the drain. 

   We discussed a note explaining, but is that what a REAL MAN would do? HALES NO!!! I got a bucket, took of the plastic plumbing underneath, and found that 'dern thing! She was super happy, and kept saying, "I can't believe it fell out." Falling asleep took a bit longer than usual, but upon waking up it was worth it. $2 met the end of her slumber and all she said was, "She didn't even leave a note." (See a funny article about kids negotiating from the Huffington Post here). So the tooth fairy may be making a return visit to give her the tooth back (after appropriate processing) for her one time return to place in her baby book. There might be a note involved as well. 

   The right of passage at each stage is clearly evident, and needed. To see her feeling left behind shows how early our little ones need to feel normal, involved, included, etc. The nerves that come with pain and blood were all dealt with in a pretty straight forward manner. It's life. It happens. You'll be okay. Mommy and daddy did it too. Your friends are are still alive, right? Sure, we offered to tie a string from the tooth to the closet door once (not well received, by the way). In the end, our 'Lil Miss seems that much older. As you can see from the pic above though, her two permanent teeth were so far in that there's really no gap to speak of. No whistling S's, or juice spit our through the gap. Just two new ones right there behind. For the past few weeks, she looked like an piranha, or some shark with a double set of teeth! Fun stuff, y'all. 

J. 

When There's Big Shoes To Fill

“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.” - Ethel Barrymore

   Don't we all have BIG shoes to fill at some point? It seems like yesterday that I was the kid. After spending the weekend with my own three sprogs, it's clear that I've filled the shoes that I used to try on for size. I'm in the midst of trying not to feel the pangs of shame of the job that I'm not doing, in hopes that I'll try harder to a better one. As I make decisions, mistakes, and the occasional win, I look back at what I remember of my parents. Providing the essentials was a given, but that's not enough. 

   The lessons in becoming a husband and father came from several members of my family. My mother was first and foremost in teaching me what a man should be. Her approach was the most direct and formal. Opening doors, paying bills, planning lessons, being ON TIME, etc. She taught me to sew a button, iron my shirt, laundry, basic cooking, and so forth. I learned COUNTLESS lessons about life, and for that I'm forever grateful. Yet, who was to teach me to be the man? I found the lessons all around me. Teachers, coaches, church and scout leaders all contributed. What about the family? 

   My father taught me to leave everything,...everything, better than you found it. My grandfather taught me that with a great product and even better customer service, you couldn't go wrong. My older brother taught me that even with all the wicked of the world the swirls around us, you can decide who YOU want to be, and that should be good enough for everyone else. My uncle taught me unconditional love to your children. My step-father taught me how to treat a woman and wife. 

   So ask yourself, what kind of shoes are you filling? As I move along in life, I sometimes ask what type of shoes am I leaving behind to be filled? This helps guide me bit as I stumble, fall, pick myself up, and try again. The effort needs to be there. The conscious decisions we make to be better men, fathers, husbands, and humans. 

Just remember fellas, as Shang sang in Disney's Mulan, "Be a man..."

Later guys, 

J. 

Shoes To Fill

 

"You know you're old when someone compliments you

on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot." - Phyllis Diller

 

   Happy New Year to you all! As the Cheeky Family was preparing to leave I got our shoes ready for our departure for our outing and thought of a picture that I took back when The Wife and I were first married.

 

    Oh, how we've grown. I started thinking about past goals, new ones, etc. I thought about all that we've accomplished with our little family over the past 7 years with kids. I've thought about what I've taught my little ones so far and how it's my shoes they will be filling. It's been a fun ride so far, with bumps along the way. I'd trade it for nothing. I'm happy and content. I wish you all the same, with an Andes mint as a garnish.

J.