Monday, February 25, 2013

Children's Toys - Landmines for Parents

"Man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it." - John Steinbeck
   We buy the landmines that take out a foot every other day. Then we curse the child that left it out. I saw a post that said, "Stepping on Legos is painful but these little guys are at a whole different level." The image that accompanied it is here. I felt compelled to answer with the top 5 offending toys in our home that cause podiatry pain.

The Cheeky Daddy's Top 5 Foot Offenders

1. Toy Train Parts - The sign says stop, yet we do not heed its message. It's our own fault really.

2. The Wooden Block - Many a parent has fallen by the wayside to the childhood punji stick. A moment of silence for our fallen comrades.

3. The Plastic Themed Character - No lie, my 3YO nearly passed out from the pain from falling onto one of these. I won't say which Marvel character was to blame, but let's say it was a mighty and thunderous cry that followed.

4. The Die Cast Car - Matchbox and Hot Wheels have a lot to answer for. Die Cast metal might as well be Kryptonite to us mothers and fathers, for they bring even the biggest of our kind down.

5. The Toy Soldier - Soldier to soldier, this has to be the first our current time. Using modern combat techniques, our children have taken the plastic toy soldier and put them to use in the theatre of unconventional urban home warfare. Battle has never been the same since.

And so the battle rages on. With no winners, and no.....well, there's certainly some losers. Which side will you be on?



  1. No Legos? Holy Hell, do Legos hurt on bare feet. I got a giant box of them at Dad 2.0 (last year, not this year), and they find their way onto the floor no matter how hard I try to prevent such. Growing up in Tennessee, I ain't fond of shoes, neither. This is why my children know grown men can cry.

  2. Funny enough, we don't have any Legos. Maybe it's for the best. One more weapon like that and I'd have to call in an air strike to level the place. As for growing up in Tennessee with no shoes, shouldn't you have the kind of callouses that enable you to walk on hot coals? I guess even that is no match for the kid-bomb.