Monday, August 19, 2013

Happy To Be A Father And Husband

   "I don't know how you guys can do it. I can't stand having a 
woman in my house for more than 32 hours." - Scumbag Steve Co-Worker

   A new employee used these words at new hire training this past week and it just simply hasn't left me. I've always known that there were guys out there that didn't subscribe to my idea of what steps we take as father's and husbands. Heck, I've seen them in the movies. I just realized this week that I'd never actually met one. It left a nasty taste in my mouth and it's been hard to shake it. I was raised to be a little more sensitive to other peoples choices and feelings. To be called out as a person who has given up so much was a bit hard to understand.
   As a member of a dad blog group on Facebook, I see guys from all walks of life, from various backgrounds, who parent in all kinds of different ways, and they ALL are happy with their choice.
Disclaimer: I'm still of the thought "to each his/her own", with no disrespect to the single/childless.
   Having stated the above, here's my perspective. I was married fairly young, by choice. I had spent all my time since puberty trying to find someone who liked me for who I was, and wanted to reciprocate the love I was willing to give. Marriage was our way of committing to each other and put the needs of the other first, instead of just worrying about the "me". Hearing about my co-worker's "bachelor pad" as he approaches 30, just sounds like all the romantic comedies that never end well for the bachelor staying that way (examples include The Bachelor, Down With Love, Win A Date With Tad Hamilton, and the latest we've seen,  Crazy, Stupid, Love). As a married man, yes, I did see these with my honey. I'll defend myself with the loose connection to research that is needed to prove that at least Hollywood agrees that being a "bachelor for life" never really works out for the selfish and self centered.
   As for the children, we waited for 7 years to start our family. The Wife and I wanted to get to know each other, go places, see things, and enjoy each other's company along the way. I can almost pinpoint the month we started to feel that empty portion of our lives, and wanted someone to share it with, pass on the joys of life and all it had to offer. As I sat stunned at my co-workers life mission statement, I had a thought. If having children has taught me to be more selfless and loving, what does living a life of self indulgence and lone-wolfing teach you? Sure, there are plenty of selfless, loving and charitable people who are unmarried and sans child. I'm talking about those who look down their noses as we who have chosen to commit to a significant other and the little ones they've taken into their charge.

   It's one man's opinion, but one who is happy to be a father and husband. I've found kinship with the people at Life of Dad, The Good Men Project, The National Father Initiative, and Playground Dad to name a few. Surround yourself with those who inspire and build, rather than depress and take down. The Cheeky Daddy is here, so count me as a friend. All my best.


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