"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard." - Steven Wright
How is that we guys can roll out of bed, throw on yesterday's clothes in seconds, and be out the door in no time, yet at times we can't figure out which end is up with our kid's clothes? Sometimes if feels like I'm trying to figure out a Rubik's Cube, or at least like The Riddler is having a good laugh at my expense.
Story time! When my father had a daughter later in life, he was pretty proud to bounce her on his knee and carry her around. His responsibilities were limited, as he admitted of himself, "I'm not really sure what to do with little ones." One visit to his place in the early months proved him right. The Wife and I were looking at my baby half-sister when I heard a giggle from my better half. I didn't notice anything, but remember, I'm a guy. If the nudity is covered, we're good, right? NOPE. The little wee one's shirt was on inside-out, backwards, with the tag up 'n out tickling her throat. When my dad asked "What's so funny?", The Wife could barely get the words out for the laughter. I was holding back my own laughter to protect my fellow man, but also 'cuz my father gets embarrassed and pissed off pretty quick. When he realized what he'd done, I saw his jaw muscles tense before he tried to calmly fixed the error.
I know we've all done something similar, especially if we're not the primary care giver. The Wife never seems to make that mistake and my fellow dads that have the honor of being a stay-home probably have fewer issues than I do, I'm sure. No doubt, the less experienced were kept in mind when the "this end up" onesie was offered on CafePress.com. I think it prudent that when fathers dress their children, they shouldn't be watching the big game, reading their favorite magazine, or having an in depth conversation with anyone. Else they be subject to the mock and scorn of our counterparts. I for one will follow the "Measure twice, cut once" man code when I try to dress my kids. Smaller room for error, so they say.